LEGACIES WE LEAVE BEHIND…

Posted on November 24, 2015 by Noelene

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Found this old photo of our family.  That is me in my father’s arms.  It reminded of a post I did on the legacies we leave behind for our children. It was a reminder that in our marriages we need to:

Guard our hearts because that will determine what legacy we will leave for our children and their children.  “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” —Proverbs 4:23

My parents got divorced when I was twelve years old and they have left a legacy of step-brothers and step- sisters, a step-mother and two step-fathers.  A legacy of separation, brokenness and hurt, a legacy of divorce.

God says in Joel 2:25 “I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten.”  What an amazing promise.  God will restore the years of brokenness, the lost years. He will place us in a new family – the family of God.  Jesus stretched out His hand towards His disciples – us – and said ““Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” (Matthew 12:49,50)

We do not have to live with the legacy of divorce from our parents.  Our children do not have to live with our own legacy of divorce that we may have handed down to them BECAUSE God says:

“I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

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ARE YOU IN BONDAGE TO YOUR CHILDREN?

Posted on November 19, 2015 by Noelene

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A friend and I were bemoaning the fact the other day that sometimes our children are not truly appreciative of all that they have, that they take so much for granted and often want more.

I said that it was our own fault.  We are the ones who give them everything they want and follow a policy of instant gratification.  We are afraid to discipline them as they should be disciplined and we often don’t hold them accountable for their actions for ‘fear’ of their reactions. His reply shocked me.  He said:

“Yes, but we live in a world of fear.  There are so many children who are bulimic, anorexic or who are cutting themselves that we are afraid that if we do not give our children what they want they will start doing the same.  Others suffer from depression and are on medication. We are held in bondage to this fear.” I don’t agree.  I believe that some of our children will still suffer from all these things even if they are given everything they demand – in fact maybe the more they are given the more they will be inclined to suffer from these issues.

It has almost become quite common place or in some instances ‘fashionable’ to be bulimic or anorexic or a cutter and to be in therapy.

Our children have to contend with so much today – not the least of these things being social media.  They never have time to relax, to be alone.  Their lives are splashed on twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and countless other forms of media.

Not just their lives, but their parents lives as well. A large majority of us parents also spend way too much time on whatsapp or twitter or email – I am certainly guilty of this. Our children watch programs on television that ‘normalise’ all these issues and they are being taught that there is nothing wrong with sex before marriage, having multiple partners, experimenting with drugs and alcohol because ‘everyone does it’ and it is perfectly natural.

Depression among school children is rife with many taking medication to get them through the day and then, as a community we sometimes  experience the devastation of loss as some teenagers feel the  only way out is to commit suicide.

The world our children are growing up in is foreign to us parents.  Our four and five year olds are taught not to brush their friends knees of grit and dirt when they have fallen and grazed themselves because the blood of their friend may contain the AIDS virus.

How heartbreaking is that? Having to teach our children to curtail the basic human response of bringing comfort to those they love because of a very real fear of being infected with a disease.

A law passed in my country, South Africa, in 2007 states that “children as young as twelve can get condoms and the Pill, get HIV treatment, and have an abortion – without their parents’ consent”, how achingly sad is that?

Our children have easy access to drugs, alcohol and porn.  The divorce rate is on the increase, families are breaking up and there are many single parent households. A few years ago the Daily Mail reported  “One in ten families never sits down to an evening meal together, a study revealed today.  Hectic social schedules and hefty workloads means millions of families are unable to enjoy each other’s company at the dinner table.”  It went on to report that in a study of 3 000 adults, two thirds of their children yearned for a return to the traditional family dinner time.

So no wonder it feels like being a parent of a teenager is a bit like being a tight rope walker. It often feels like one is ‘walking on egg shells’ as we find ourselves challenged by them and the world we live in.

What is really great, however, is the fact that even if we misstep and fall off the tightrope, our safety net is ginormous!

GOD IS OUR SAFETY NET and when we go to Him in prayer for wisdom and discernment FOR OURSELVES in raising our children and we request wisdom, self-control and safety FOR OUR CHILDREN we know that He hears us and responds in love.

My all time favorite Bible verse is found in 1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins”. Instead of sins I put ‘mistakes’ because as  parents we make countless mistakes in raising our children but as long as they know they are loved and prayed for I believe that in the end they will develop into the people  God created them to be.

“And now these three remain:  faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love”  1 Corinthians 13:13

 

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LOVE WEARS STEEL TOE CAP BOOTS

Posted on November 16, 2015 by Noelene

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My mother’s parents were married for sixty-five years.

They were Afrikaans so we addressed them as Oupa and Ouma. Up until the day my Oupa died they still held hands and had lively conversations with each other.

Before my Oupa retired, the first thing he would do when he got home from work was to go and find my Ouma. It didn’t matter if she was cooking in the kitchen or working in the garden—he wouldn’t just shout hello—he would find her, give her a kiss on her cheek and say “Ek is tuis” – I am home. Home to my Oupa was not his house, home was his wife. He was home, reunited with the woman he loved. He would then go and sit in his chair in the lounge.

It didn’t matter what my Ouma was doing. If she was cooking, she would remove the pot from the stove. If she was working in the garden, she would stop. As soon as he sat down she would go and fetch his slippers from the bedroom, kneel down before my Oupa, unlace his shoes, take them off his feet and slip his slippers on. My Oupa’s hand would rest gently on her head or her shoulder.

My Ouma was not a subservient woman. Far from it. She was a vocal member of the community, earned extra income by baking and selling her cakes, was a prominent member of her church and was very much her own woman.

And yet, it was an honor for her to kneel before him and take his shoes off because those shoes represented his love for her. From Monday through to Saturday he would put his shoes on and go to work to earn the money that enabled her and their children to live. As a motor mechanic he would spend all day on his feet so for her it was a privilege to be able to take his shoes off for him at the end of a long day at work.

I could have learnt a lot from her in the beginning of my marriage. My husband, Steve, would come home after a hard day’s work, sit on the couch and take his steel toe cap boots off. He would then just leave them there. At night when I was tidying up I would feel such resentment about his boots lying in the lounge and would pick them up and literally throw them into the bedroom wishing I could throw them at him. Who did he think I was? His maid?

Over the years, however, that resentment has vanished as his steel toe cap boots have come to represent his love for me and our girls. He wears those boots from Monday to Friday and often on a Saturday and Sunday when he is called out on a job. He wears them because he loves us, he wears them to earn money so that we can live. He wears them because he cares about us.

How I wish I hadn’t wasted so many years resenting those boots left lying in the lounge, making such a big deal about having to ‘tidy’ up after him. Instead I wish I had knelt down on my knees before him and taken those boots off his tired and aching feet and thanked him for wearing them.

My husband embodies Deuteronomy 15:10:

Give generously to them and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the LORD your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand too.

He has always given to us generously and without a grudging heart, despite my lousy attitude at times, and God has blessed the work of his hands.

I have also learnt through this, that often the things that irritate us the most about our spouses, are the things we should be the most grateful for if we would but only look at them from a different perspective.

Originally posted on http://www.startmarriageright.com/2015/11/love-wears-steel-toed-boots/

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THROW OFF YOUR CLOAK!

Posted on November 8, 2015 by Noelene

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There are so many of us, who like blind Bartimaeus, have spent the majority of our lives sitting beside a road begging for the freedom to live our lives to the full. Begging for freedom from guilt, deep hurts, unforgiveness, addictions.

As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (that is, the son of Timaeus), was sitting by the roadside begging. when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me!”

Some of us live our lives blinded by our prejudices, jealousies, religious beliefs, addictions. Blinded in the sense that we only see what we want to see and yet we long to be set free from this blindness but don’t know how to achieve our sight.  Some of us are trapped in our pasts, in our childhoods of hurt and pain. As I read the sentence ‘Bartimaeus (that is, the son of Timaeus)’ my heart was saddened that a father would allow his blind son to beg in the streets, and yet, who am I to judge – I don’t know what the father’s life was like. Between the ages of twelve and twenty-six I saw my father six times and I have spent a lot of my life sitting on the side of the road begging for his attention. A lot of grownups are still begging to be released from the hurts of their pasts.

Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”.  Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.”

Bartimaeus knew of Jesus because he called out ‘Jesus, son of David’ and he also knew that Jesus had the power to help him because he begs ‘have mercy on me’.  A lot of us know about Jesus, pay lip service to Him but remain sitting at the side of the road crying out for mercy.  We are too busy bemoaning our fate that we do not hear His voice saying ‘Call him, call her’.

So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet!  He’s calling you”.  Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus. “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him.  The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see”

We are so often caught up in our own self-pity and misery that we do not hear others, together with Jesus, calling out to us.  It is often far easier to remain sitting, covered with our cloaks, being blinded by our own self-pity at the unfairness of life. It is often far easier to be trapped in our own addictions then to acknowledge those addictions and have to fight to be free of them, much less effort to allow our emotions to run gamut then to learn self-control and self-discipline.  Sometimes we are not even sure what exactly it is that we want Jesus to do for us.

For our lives to change we need to physically ‘throw our cloaks aside, jump to our feet and run to Jesus.’

“Go”, said Jesus, “your faith has healed you”.  Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.

It is at this point that many of us acknowledge our sight (our salvation in Jesus Christ) and even walk beside Him for a little way but then the cares of the world start to weigh us down and we find we are still trapped in our addictions/lack of self-control/feelings of worthlessness, and so we end up sitting at the side of the road again, begging for freedom from the chains that bind us.  We will always have our salvation in Christ but we will not be living in the fullness of Him because of our own pride.  We are too embarrassed to admit that we are addicted to alcohol, gambling, pornography, drugs, over-eating, to losing our temper to anger to depression …our pride stops us from seeking help. It is only at the point when we seek help, acknowledge to others that we are struggling and start to fight against these feelings and addictions that we will receive our healing.  Many of us live secret lives of shame because of our pride.  Often praying and begging God to heal us is just not enough – we need the help of others together with God to change our lifestyles.

There is a song by Van Morrison that sums it up perfectly:

When will I ever learn to live in God?
When will I ever learn?
He gives me everything I need and more
When will I ever learn?

Whatever it takes to fulfill his mission
That is the way we must go
But you’ve got to do it your own way
Tear down the old, bring up the new

Throw off your cloak and start living in the fullness of the life that God has ordained for you.

Story of Bartimaeus, Mark 10:46-52

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WALK IN HIS WAYS

Posted on November 6, 2015 by Noelene

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The Bible is as relevant today as it was when it was first written.

In Deuteronomy 30:16 God says to us “For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commands”.

All God’s Stones shows us how we can use and apply Scripture in our everyday lives.

It is a two month study guide consisting of eight chapters.  Each chapter ends with a reflection, an exercise to do, a verse to reflect on and a prayer.  It can be used by Churches, Bible Study groups, Youth Groups and individuals.

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The Young Adults at Mowbray Presbyterian Church have just completed an eight week study of All God’s Stones .

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Different members of the congregation presented a chapter each Sunday – a different and varied approach each week which worked out great!

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Unfortunately, we did not manage to gather all the young adults together in one place for the group photos featured below!

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Some comments from the Young Adults at Mowbray Presbyterian Church who completed the All God’s Stones study book:

“It has been a source of encouragement in my life”

“I liked every chapter but the one that stood out the most to me was the ‘Potter and the clay’…we need to accept ourselves because God created us. We need to look in a mirror and be thankful”

“The personal experiences shared in the book made Bible verses come alive. Some Bible verses were addressed in a very unique way which was so encouraging”

“I liked having someone different each week present a chapter. It gave a different perspective”

“It speaks about things I can relate too”

“Noelene loves to link her everyday experiences with the words of Scripture. By doing this she encourages us to meet God in all the experiences and encounters of our lives. Because we suffer from unhelpful tendencies to separate our faith and our lives, to compartmentalise our Christianity, this encouragement can serve us well. She really wants God to be God of our whole lives. I am reminded of Jesus’ invitation to seek first the kingdom of God and then everything else will find its rightful place in our lives too.”  – Trevor Hudson, Minister, Author and International Speaker, Johannesburg, South Africa

If you are interested in obtaining copies for your church or for yourself please contact Noelene on noelene@omegaair.co.za

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A BOOK IS BORN…

Posted on November 2, 2015 by Noelene

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I went on a walk in the mountains with God and a book was born!

TODAY I took a walk in the mountains. There were two routes I could choose from. I could follow the red arrows or I could follow the yellow arrows. Underneath the yellow arrow was this description: ‘A slow stroll or jog lasting approximately one hour.’ The red arrow had this description: ‘A very difficult walk along a narrow path lasting approximately an hour and an half.’ Red is the universal sign for danger and because I wanted a relaxed and enjoyable walk, I chose the yellow path. It also happened to be downhill most of the way! I had also not come prepared and was wearing sneakers instead of hiking boots. The difference about this walk from all other walks I have taken, was that I consciously and verbally invited God to walk beside me before I started the walk. I asked Him to help me be aware of His presence as I walked.

If we walk with Him, God promises the following to us in Proverbs 2:7: ‘He holds victory in store for the upright, He is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for He guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.’ God also said that if we asked Him: ‘He will teach us His ways, so that we may walk in His paths.’ There is a beautiful passage in Isaiah 30:18 that says: ‘Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him!’ Sometimes in this journey of life we tend to rush ahead and leave God behind. We need to remember to wait for Him. The passage from Isaiah continues: ‘Whether you turn to the right or to the left your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it’.’ If we wait for God we will hear His voice telling us in which direction to go. This is exactly what God says in Jeremiah 6:16: ‘Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.’ In other words when we are not sure what to do and we are standing at a crossroad in our life, we need to search God’s Word for the direction He wants us to take.

Extract from All God’s Stones

 

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WALKING…

Posted on October 25, 2015 by Noelene

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I only went out for a walk, and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found was really going in”  (John Muir)

“For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life” (Psalm 56:13).

“Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, Lord” (Psalm 89:15).

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”  (Ephesians 2:10)

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DEPRESSION IS INSIDIOUS

Posted on October 19, 2015 by Noelene

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Depression is insidious.

It is stealthy and cunning and treacherous.

It works in a subtle way and can be deadly.  It is a thief and a murderer – it robs one of the will to live of joy and hope and in extreme cases can lead to death.

The only time that I have suffered real depression was when I was diagnosed with postpartum depression after the birth of one of our children.  It lasted for six dark, dreary months before it lifted.

Recently, however, a darkness has been closing in on me and my joy in the Lord and in life has been slowly fading. I have been repeating the following words “life is too difficult, I don’t want to do this, I can’t do this anymore”.   I think it started when I heard the news that a fifteen year old girl in our community had killed herself. I have found myself, almost on a daily basis, crying for the mother, desperately longing that I could take her pain away. My own father is dying and that has brought a lot of emotion to the surface for myself and my siblings. I am struggling with the pain and hurts of my own children – when they feel they are failures, when they are hurt by friends, when they are lonely – I take that burden on myself and carry it and gradually the burdens have been getting heavier and heavier.

My husband told me recently that my life was just like a truck.  I was constantly stopping to pick up burdens along the road, a majority of those burdens don’t even belong to me but I have picked them up and put them into my truck anyway and driven off with them!  My truck is soon going to be too heavy to drive.  On top of that I am only looking at the side of the road to see what burdens I can pick up next.  I am ignoring the amazing beautiful view of life that I have through the windscreen.

So today I took a hammer and some nails, climbed into my truck and drove to the cross.  I parked at the foot of the cross, climbed into the back of the truck,took the hammer and the nails and started hammering my burdens one by one to the cross.

The burden of sorrow, the burden of anger, the burden of disappointment, the burden of addictions, the burden of lack of faith, the burden of self-worthlessness, the burden of doubt, the burden of self-pity, the burden of grief, the burden of lack of appreciation ….. each and every burden was nailed to that cross.  It took me most of the day to unpack and nail the burdens.

And as I hammered away the darkness started to lift and I thought on these words:

“He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross.”  (Colossians 2:14)

“He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” (1 Peter 2:24)

There is no sin or feeling too big that God cannot forgive and if we are constantly feeling burdened and depressed how are we ever going to be witnesses to others of His light and love?  Once I had nailed all my burdens to the cross, I abandoned the truck and continued my journey on foot with the resurrected Lord walking beside me.  This way I won’t be able to pick up burdens that don’t belong to me and I will be in a position to help others carry their burdens:

Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the Law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)

Miracle within me
Align soul with Your will
Let Your light shine through me
With love that You instill  (You Instill by Daryl Madden)

I am going to start shining again!

“Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you …the sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory” (Isaiah 60)

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God’s timing in perspective!

Posted on October 8, 2015 by Noelene

“Just because God isn’t in a hurry doesn’t mean He’s not eager or anticipating great things in your life.

For example, just because I’m not in a hurry for my five-year-old to get her driver’s license doesn’t mean I’m not eager or anticipating her healthy independence. It simply reveals how important the timing is.

The Scriptures are clear, God is immensely interested in the minutia of our lives. He’s been relentlessly pursuing our hearts since conception. And His timing is perfect.” – MATT OUELLETTE

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B is for Blogging

Posted on October 6, 2015 by Noelene

Beautiful words – especially the last verse

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