DIVORCE HURTS…

Posted on May 30, 2016 by Noelene

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Parents, please don’t underestimate and minimize the damage your divorce does to your children.
Recognize the fact that just as the egg and sperm joined together to form your child that egg and sperm are effectively now being torn apart, ripped in two and your child is being split down the middle.
As you separate from your spouse, be aware that your child is being separated as well.
Acknowledge this fact and speak about it to your children.
Make them your first priority during this time – their lives, as they know it, has just blown up in their faces – they need you to spend time with them.
Divorce is a death of your family life together and you need to realize that your child will be grieving this ‘death’.

The poem below was written by a sixteen year old child of divorced parents and is indicative of the longing a child has to belong, to be known, to be recognized.

I NEVER KNEW YOU

Just because I’m not with you,
Does not mean I’m not here.
Just because I am a child,
Does not mean you can forget me.
I’ve got a right to know what you are doing,
I’ve got a right to expect to be loved by you.
I want to be part of your life,
I want to be needed by you.
But you will never need me,
You are too self-contained.
Just because I’m not with you,
Just because I cannot share your life,
Does not mean I don’t love you,
Does not mean I don’t need you.
Sometimes I watch a father and a child,
A mother and a child,
Laughing together,
At something only they can see.
We will never be able to share that kind of feeling,
Because I don’t know you and you don’t know me.
And it’s too late now to understand each other,
Because when we meet,
We are strangers-and yet-you gave me live.

“For the Lamb on the throne will be their Shepherd. He will lead them to springs of life-giving water. And God will wipe every tear from their eyes.” Revelation 7:17

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UBUNTU

Posted on May 29, 2016 by Noelene

20160528_150312One of the most beautiful words in South Africa is the word UBUNTU.

Ubuntu means “human kindness” or “humanity to others” and is sometimes translated as “I am what I am because of who we all are”.

The word itself has its origins in several of the Bantu languages of Southern Africa.

It incorporates the feeling of togetherness – that no matter who we are we need to strive to live together in love.  This past Saturday I attended an Ubuntu Multicultural Concert at one of our local churches – Kenilworth Community Presbyterian Church.

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The afternoon was one of true Ubuntu-ism as different cultures and churches joined together to celebrate and worship God.

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As I sat and listened to God being given the glory in praise and poetry and music and dance I thought how much God must be enjoying Himself in church that afternoon!  Listening to His children enjoying and expressing their love for Him.

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Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!  Psalm 133:1

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When Jesus looks at you, what does He see?

Posted on May 25, 2016 by Noelene

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When Jesus looks at you, what does He see?

If He was to walk into the room where you are now, climb into the car you are driving right now, start walking next to you as you take your daily walk now – how would you react?

Would you react with shame, self-disgust?
Would you immediately move towards Him with joy?
Would you be afraid?
Would you even recognize Him?

If your reaction is anything other than ‘moving towards Him with joy’ I suggest you stop what you are doing right now, find a quiet place and:

“… confess your sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”  (1 John 1:9)

And then meditate on these words:

“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!  And that is what we are…we know that when He appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.  Everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure”  (1 John 3:1-3)

Start living your life to the utmost knowing that you stand righteous before Him, purified and clean, your sins forgiven and remembered no more because He has said:

“”I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” (Isaiah 43:25)

You are a child of the most High God – start living like one.  Start living in His light.

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Silence the voice…of doubt, of fear

Posted on May 22, 2016 by Noelene

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I often wonder what our lives would be like if we took God at His word on a daily basis instead of listening to our own self-doubts, our doubts in God, our fears…
we talk ourselves into mediocre lives.

Reverend Kenneth Hagin once said:

“After all, even when you doubt, you are believing something. You are believing in defeat. You are believing the wrong thing. You always get in your life what you believe for and what you say. If you don’t believe what you are saying, then you shouldn’t say it, for it you keep saying something long enough those words will eventually register on your spirit. And once they are registered upon your spirit, they will control your life.

Doubt and fear go hand in hand, but faith and love go hand in hand.”

The promises of God are vast…we need to stop doubting and start believing

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27)

You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. (Psalm 86:5)

But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the LORD… (Jeremiah 30:17)

And then this amazing promise:

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.  (Mark 11:24)

Vincent van Gogh once said:

If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.

Maybe we should paraphrase that to read:

If you hear a voice within you say ‘you aren’t good enough…you will fail…who do you think you are to achieve anything…’ then maybe we need to just believe and trust and that voice will be silenced.

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If you are a Believer there is no winging it…

Posted on May 13, 2016 by Noelene

I recently wrote a blog entitled On a wing and a prayer and it referred to the fact that every time my husband and I flew we always ended up sitting by  the wing of the plane.  When I asked my husband why he thought this was he replied “maybe because we live our lives on a wing and a prayer!”.

‘On a wing and a prayer’ is defined as “an effort to succeed in the face of difficult,or dangerous circumstances and hoping that God will be on your side” and I rather facetiously stated that it was great that God reminded us of this every time we flew.

God obviously got tired of reminding us because on our return trip we sat way back from the wing of the plane!

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I think He also needed to point out to me that there is no need to live our lives ‘on a wing and a prayer’…’hoping that God would be on our side’.

If you are a Believer there is no winging it! There is no hoping that God will be on our side!

Instead there are the sure and steady promises that God, Himself, has given to us and the knowledge that God is on our side.

He has promised that His grace is sufficient for us – 2 Corinthians 12:9
He has promised that He will supply all our needs – Philippians 4:19
He has promised that all things work together for good for those that love Him – Romans 8:28
He has promised us that His plans for us are for good and not for evil, to give us a future and a hope – Jeremiah 29:11
He has promised that we will not be overcome by temptation – 1 Corinthians 10:13
He has promised us eternal life – John 10:28

So from now on I will not be living ‘on a wing and a prayer’ anymore. I will be living in the knowledge and assurance that God is always with me, always caring for me, always loving me.

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I am because you are…

Posted on May 10, 2016 by Noelene

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I am because You are.  We are because God is.

On Mother’s Day this year, one of my daughter’s gave me a mug on which was written “I am because you are”.  She is in this world because I gave birth to her but ultimately the reason she is here is because God ordained her birth thousands of years ago.

The reason any of us are here today is because God ordained our lives.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations”  (Jeremiah 1:5)

The above promise that God gave Jeremiah became a promise to each one of us through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

To ordain means to consecrate – to make holy, to sanctify
A prophet is someone who speaks by divine inspiration

Every Believer in Jesus is set aside, is ordained, is consecrated and has prophetic powers because Jesus said “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole of creation.”  (Mark 16:15)

By proclaiming the gospel we are prophesying that we are set apart by God to live Holy lives in His grace and ultimately to spend eternity in His Presence.

So why are so many of us living mediocre lives weighed down by the demands of the world?  It all boils down to a lack of faith and fear…

In his inaugural address Franklin D. Roosevelt spoke these famous words:

“the only thing we have to fear is…fear itself — nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance”

Because we are afraid to trust God we fail to “convert retreat into advance”.

“A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.” Ambrose Bierce

Stop doubting God…

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THE DRESS THAT WASN’T…PEOPLE THAT AREN’T

Posted on May 7, 2016 by Noelene

DSCN0797A few years ago my husband and I attended his niece’s wedding in England.  Prior to this, his sister had sent me a dress which I had packed to take with me to England.  Whilst we were over there she phoned me at our hotel one morning to discuss what we were going to do that day and I mentioned that I was wearing the dress she had sent me.  She said she couldn’t remember ever sending me a dress!

A little while later we met up and she took one look at me and started to laugh.  It was a good few minutes before she managed, in between laughing, to tell me that what I was wearing was actually a night dress.  I told her that I had worn it out in public in South Africa and friends had complimented me on the lovely dress that I was wearing!  This just set her off again!  The outcome was that I had to borrow one of her dresses to wear and we went to Marks and Spencer’s and she took me past the pajama section and there, indeed, was my dress hanging up in the nighty section!

That incident has always reminded me of people who ‘aren’t’.  They aren’t real, they aren’t honest and just as my ‘dress’ was actually a nighty, people often pretend to be things that they aren’t.

Life is about relationships, about loving others, about learning to love ourselves, about loving God.

There are some people who pretend their whole lives that everything is “fine”.  They live in fear that people will think less of them if they admit that they are struggling.  By always pretending that you are ‘okay’ you rob others of the ability to get to know you, to share in your life, in the sorrows and the joys, the failures and the triumphs.  Life is not meant to be lived in isolation – pretending to be perfect.  If you are struggling and someone asks you how you are doing and you respond “I am fine, thank you.  Life is great” you rob that person of the opportunity to empathise, to come alongside you, to pray for you.  If your response to that question is “Well, actually at the  moment I am  going through a challenging time but it will be okay” you open the door for that person to offer to pray with you, to take you for a coffee, to talk about what the challenges are.

People that ‘aren’t’ are also not able to empathise or come alongside others because it becomes a very lopsided relationship with just one person sharing all the time.

We all need to take to heart these words:

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.  Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble.  Do not be wise in your own opinion” (Romans 12:15&16)

By pretending that everything is ‘okay’ you deny others the chance to rejoice and weep with you.

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ON A WING AND A PRAYER…

Posted on May 7, 2016 by Noelene

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Every time my husband Steve and I fly, the seats allocated to us are positioned by the wing of the aeroplane. I asked Steve why he thought this was and he replied “maybe because we live our lives on a wing and a prayer!”

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‘On a wing and a prayer’ is defined as “an effort to succeed in the face of difficult,or dangerous circumstances and hoping that God will be on your side”.

I thought it was great that God gave us these reminders every time we fly!
“The Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love” Psalm 147:11
“…hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit,who has been given to us”. Romans 5


We live in hope because we trust in God’s unfailing love!

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LOVE KNOTS

Posted on April 19, 2016 by Noelene

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I was paging through a book the other day and this sentence caught my attention “God is closer to sinners than saints”.  The thought crossed my mind that it was a good thing as I doubt very much whether I will ever achieve the status of sainthood in this life time!

It carried on to say:

“God, up there, in heaven,
Is holding onto each person with a string.
Every time you sin, you cut the string;
But God fixes the string again, with a love knot.
Since this knot makes the string shorter,
You are also a bit closer to God.
Thus each sin cuts it,
And each cut means a knot,
And each knot draws you closer to God”. (Praying Body and Soul, Mehothds and Practices of Anthony de Mello)

Imagine yourself standing on the outstretched palm of God’s right hand here on earth, around your waist is tied a rope which is attached to God’s left hand in Heaven.  Every time you sin it is like you have taken a scissor and cut that rope but instead of plunging to your death you are supported by His right hand underneath you.

As you confess your sin to God “He is faithful and just and will forgive your sins and purify you from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).  God then reaches down with His left hand, to which our rope was attached, picks up our dangling piece of rope and ties the two pieces together with a love knot. He actually says in His word that He leads us “with ties of love” (Hosea 11:4). The string is now shorter but our feet are still firmly supported by His right hand and we are drawn closer to Him.

Ephesians 5:1 states “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love.”

If we follow this command we will find that as time goes by we will sin less and less and therefore God won’t have to make as many love knots in the rope which is a very good thing because the shorter that rope gets the closer we get to heaven and the nearer we are to meeting God face to face which will mean we are dead!

God says to us “I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction.  For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you” (Deuteronomy 30:15,16)

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Some thoughts on reaching rock bottom…

Posted on April 18, 2016 by Noelene

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There is something quite liberating about reaching rock bottom.
You cannot fall any further.

This thought struck me as I was sitting in church yesterday morning.  When we reach rock bottom, when we find ourselves constantly repeating –

“I can’t do this any more”
“I can’t take much more of this”
“The hurt is just too much, I can’t bear it”
“I wish it would all just end”

– you have reached rock bottom,  and it is at this place, that the following Scriptures take on a new meaning:

Psalm 31:3-4   “You are my Rock and my protection. For the good of your name, lead me and guide me.” 

Psalm 62:7-8   “My honor and salvation come from God. He is my mighty rock and my protection… trust God all the time. Tell him all your problems, because God is our protection.”

God is dependable, unchanging and a firm foundation – a base on which we can rest.

When we hit rock bottom we hit God.

When a loved one has deceived and hurt us, when our shame at our lack of self-control threatens to overwhelm us, when the grief of losing someone becomes too hard to bear, when we cannot break free from an addiction, when we can fall no lower –  it is then that God becomes the only option for our rescue, our survival, our growth, our future.

When we are consumed by shame we need to remember that our  honor and salvation come from God.

He has the power to save us, He is our place of safety, He is our shield, He is our strength, He is our deliverer, He is our rock.

There is liberation in this knowledge.  We are not alone.  Our sins cannot separate us from God once we have confessed those sins to Him. They are wiped out. We are liberated.  There is only one direction we can go, and that is upwards.

We may need to make restitution for something we have done, we may have to suffer the consequences of our addictions in our bodies, we may have to walk away from a situation BUT that’s okay because God is our rock.  We have landed on Him.

Psalm 18:1-3 “I love you, Lord; you are my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and he saved me.”

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