Parents, please don’t underestimate and minimize the damage your divorce does to your children.
Recognize the fact that just as the egg and sperm joined together to form your child that egg and sperm are effectively now being torn apart, ripped in two and your child is being split down the middle.
As you separate from your spouse, be aware that your child is being separated as well.
Acknowledge this fact and speak about it to your children.
Make them your first priority during this time – their lives, as they know it, has just blown up in their faces – they need you to spend time with them.
Divorce is a death of your family life together and you need to realize that your child will be grieving this ‘death’.
The poem below was written by a sixteen year old child of divorced parents and is indicative of the longing a child has to belong, to be known, to be recognized.
I NEVER KNEW YOU
Just because I’m not with you,
Does not mean I’m not here.
Just because I am a child,
Does not mean you can forget me.
I’ve got a right to know what you are doing,
I’ve got a right to expect to be loved by you.
I want to be part of your life,
I want to be needed by you.
But you will never need me,
You are too self-contained.
Just because I’m not with you,
Just because I cannot share your life,
Does not mean I don’t love you,
Does not mean I don’t need you.
Sometimes I watch a father and a child,
A mother and a child,
Laughing together,
At something only they can see.
We will never be able to share that kind of feeling,
Because I don’t know you and you don’t know me.
And it’s too late now to understand each other,
Because when we meet,
We are strangers-and yet-you gave me live.
“For the Lamb on the throne will be their Shepherd. He will lead them to springs of life-giving water. And God will wipe every tear from their eyes.” Revelation 7:17
UNDER A JUNIPER TREE 