I have just returned from a silent retreat in one of the most beautiful places on earth, Goedgedacht. It was led by Trevor Hudson, pastor, author and retreat giver.
I went on this retreat with a deep sense of expectation and excitement, in the hope of meeting God on a deeper level, and that hope became a reality. I have a renewed sense of how much I am loved by God and a burning desire in my heart to grow into the woman He created me to be. He is slowly revealing the vision He had for my life at birth and I have the utmost assurance that as I continue to seek Him
“God, who began the good work within me, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” (Phillipians 1:6)
So it was with a feeling of joy that I walked into the little chapel this morning, where we had been gathering, to participate in communion before we all left to go our separate ways. The chairs were organised in a large circle and facing me was Trevor with one chair free on his right, the only other available chair was in the middle of the circle.
In front of Trevor was a little table with one big Communion cup together with the bread on a plate and I felt my heart sink. And, this is where I have to make a confession – I have never been able to drink out of a shared Communion cup and am so thankful that in our church we use those lovely, civilized, little glasses for our Communion ‘wine’. The thought of drinking out of a cup filled with everyone else’s germs and backwash makes me shudder. In the past, when faced with this scenario, I have taken the cup and pretended to drink out of it but my lips have never touched the rim of the cup. I have always felt guilty about this but not even that guilt has been enough to make me actually drink from the cup!
As I stood in the doorway I had a quick debate with myself – in which direction would Trevor pass the cup. To the left or to the right? Somehow passing it to the right just made more sense so I went and sat in the chair next to him. My prayer to God was as follows:
“Lord, this has been such a beautiful weekend. I have really felt touched by you. It would be so amazing if you would reinforce this joy in me. I really want to participate in the communion. Please make Trevor pass the bread and the cup in my direction. It would be such a wonderful confirmation that you do hear my prayers and a lovely end to the weekend!”
Trevor took up the bread, my phobia overtook me and I started to beg God “please, please make him pass it to me first”.
He blessed the bread and passed it to his left. He blessed the Communion cup and passed it to his left. I did a quick count… twenty-four people were going to drink from that cup before it reached me!
It was then that God revealed His Father heart to me and it went like this:
“Noel, if you are going to follow me, truly follow me – if you want to learn more about me then you are going to have to deny yourself and take up my cross and follow in my footsteps, walk where I walk. You are going to have to learn to take on the diseases and germs of the human race, to reach out and touch those who backwash, to share your life with those who are suffering because only in doing so will they see Me, will they know My love, reflected through you. And only in doing so will you grow in your knowledge of Me, will you grow in your relationship with Me”.
The twenty-fourth person handed me the cup with these words “this is the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ shed for you” and I took the cup from her hands, thanked her, looked deep into the depths of God’s love and took a huge gulp.
‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ 2 Corinthians 12:9
New book by Trevor Hudson Friendship with God
Published by Struik Christian Media, http://www.struikchristianmedia.co.za
Goedgedacht – http://www.goedgedacht.org
Your words are an oasis in this crazy life. Your message always seems to arrive just before I spin out of control. Thanks Noel x
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Thank you, Susan! What a beautiful thing to say xxx
I’m not sure what the answer was. I have been asking myself that question alot.. Why does God always do the opposite of what I beg of him to do? Because recently my fiance hung himself in my bedroom from my air vent. When he was in the ICU I begged For to give him the strength to live and pull threw this and for him to just be OK and have his brain damage and mri to show improvement but It did not it got worse and worse soon we had to pull the plug…. Now Im just wondering why!? I thought God said to always choose life over death? Did he not? =(
Salena, my heart aches after reading your comment. What a shock and tragedy.
I do know that God’s heart was breaking as your fiance chose death over life and his death in that manner was not what God had planned for him when he was born.
Sometimes depression becomes overwhelming and all engulfing and the person suffering loses touch with reality.
Our community has recently been rocked with the news of a fifteen year old girl who also hung herself.
I have added the links to the two blogs that I wrote about her death – maybe at some time you can read them.
My thoughts and prayers are with you as you as you process this horrific grief.