House work is dangerous.
A few weeks ago I climbed on a ladder in order to dust the top of a very high cupboard in our house and the ladder collapsed underneath me. I landed on the floor, on my left hand side and as I opened my eyes all I could see was this huge puddle of blood in front of me. I heard this unearthly sound and realized that it was coming from me. I was groaning from the very pit of my stomach from the pain.
The end result was 10 stitches in my eyelid, the gash on my forehead was glued closed and my left side, hand and ribs were badly bruised and my left leg was hurt.
During the weeks that followed I went through a few days of deep, deep depression. I was in such pain from my ribs, any unplanned movement resulted in absolute agony. I questioned God’s love for me and my purpose here on earth! Everything felt absolutely senseless – why did this accident happen?
Apart from my husband, God has placed two very Godly men in my life who have accompanied me on my Spiritual journey for many years and who are also really good friends to my husband and myself. They both messaged me during this time wanting to know how I was doing and I responded “Feeling very depressed. Kind of like ‘nobody loves me, why me? What’s the point…?”
The one immediately arranged a time to come and pray with me as soon as possible even though I didn’t want to see him and certainly didn’t feel like praying and the other one sent me wonderfully encouraging verses – you know the ones you really don’t want to hear when you are feeling down…verses like:
1 Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
I mean who wants to hear that when you have fallen off a ladder, are in pain, and feeling depressed ‘that all things work together for good for those who love Him’?
I told him this was not doing anything for me right now and he replied:
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start reading the Word of God. I suggest you start with James 1:2 – 4 and John 16:33!
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
And John states:
“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world”
I needed that reminder.
A friend once said to Dallas Willard, the well-known Christian philosopher “Hey Dallas, my heart is breaking, I can’t fix it, I don’t understand it, and I’m sadder than I’ve ever been in my life.” He says there was a long pause and then Dallas responded “This will be a test of your joyful confidence in God.”
I needed to find a new joyful confidence in God.
And I did.
But I needed those two men to jolt me out of my self-pity and to remind me of the God we serve.
One to pray with me and one to tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself. I also needed my husband to lay hands on me and pray for me, which he has done over these past weeks.
My prayer is that each one of us will be surrounded by people who will be bold enough to confront us, pray with us and love us through our ‘trouble’.