MY FAITH IS SO FICKLE

I have spent the past few weeks questioning God and being angry.

I have spent the past twenty years praying about something and not receiving any solution.

I have spent the past year and a half praying about something else, and am yet to receive an answer, and in the past few months I have had another prayer request that God may or may not answer as I have asked!

Faith is not a feeling – it is an act of our will.

In every situation and circumstance we need to pray ‘let your will be done, Lord’. And then we need to thank Him and trust that He does hear us. Often it will not be the outcome we want, at other times there will be no outcome and it is then, in that moment, that hour, that year even if our hearts are heavy, that we need to cling to Him through the despair.

“Faith is not intellectual understanding; faith is a deliberate commitment to the Person of Jesus Christ, even when I can’t see the way ahead.”  Oswald Chambers

It is in my darkest times that God speaks to me – I am coming to value these times of doubt and fear because these are the times that I am at my most vulnerable and open to hear from Him. I make Him a priority again, spend more time reading the Bible and praying and then realization dawns, once again, how fickle my faith really is.

Today I am resetting my priorities according to His will, yet again.

I am His dearly beloved child and as I repent and seek Him, He will reveal Himself to me in His time.

The painting above is titled ‘conversations unspoken’.  I found it poignant and a reflection of so many of us.

Conversations unspoken with the ones we love

Conversations unspoken with strangers

Conversations unspoken with God

A vast majority of us live in our own worlds, shrouded in fear and worry and silence…ignoring the words that Jesus spoke:

“”Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

““The LORD your God is in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”  (Zephaniah 3:17)

Just for today I will rest in the knowledge that it does not matter whether my prayers are answered or not it only matters that Jesus is. I will live the words of The Serenity Prayer:

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the
pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this
sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make
all things right if I
surrender to His Will 

About Noelene

I am a child of God's. I am also a writer. Mother Teresa once said "I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world". My objective is to be one of God's love letters to the world. I can only achieve this through His grace at work in my life.
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